Digital Fortress

August 2007: I joined the multimedia contest for my company. At first I have no intention of joining because I know I can’t persuade my friends to appear on cam and I thought no one is interested but me. Oddly, it’s my friend who sent me a PM to join so I said “why not?”

The theme of the contest is all about “A day in the office” stuff so me and my friends started shooting some footage about our everyday lives in the office. Because we don’t have a video cam, we settled for a still camera (w/ video capture as an extra feature) with a 16MB memory stick to create this 3-minute presentation. This cam can capture a maximum of 40 seconds so we need to upload the footage to the laptop when we ran out of memory. We filmed it in the span of 2 weeks. Few minutes during lunch and after office hours. Wheew.. But it paid off. We won both the voter’s choice and major prize for the movie trailer style of our presentation. Php15K worth of GCs from PowerBooks and Php15K worth of Sodexho GCs. Nine of us shared the prize but as the editor/cameraman/director/writer, I deserved more. Hehehe… Unfortunately, I can’t upload it on Youtube because it’s for internal use only. I got certain amount of recognitions after that in our project. I used the prize to upgrade my hard drive just in case I need to do more editing stuffs. True enough offers kept coming. And I embraced them all. Hehehe…Fortunately my father (working on Saudi) sent me a Sony Handycam. I didn’t actually request for it…but it came.

After making presentations for all-hands meetings etc, there’s a film fest theme for one of our Christmas Parties. And because I have a “reputation” for doing it, looking for cast member has become an easy task. And on that December night, we swept all the major awards and a total cash prize of Php17K. Php2K for me for my very first Best Director Award. You can see my movie “My Girl” on my Youtube page: http://www.youtube.com/tiamzy (The cheesiness is intentional…heheh)

And just recently, I’ve been approached once again to create presentations for one of the company’s leadership organization. Take note: “with pay”. The videos were shown as intermissions during the company’s leaders’ congress held at the ballroom hall of a Makati Hotel. Nice! Ibang level na…parang pwede na talagang sideline.

Sometimes I’m wondering that if ever I got bored over my current job, I’ll try looking for one on this field where I know I excel and most importantly enjoy. I daydream of becoming a successful pinoy filmmaker someday. Sabi ko nga sa About Me section ko sa Friendster: “Frustrated filmmaker” ako. I really want to be one. In fact, gusto kong i-take up initially sa U.P. yung Film and AudioVisual Communication kaya lang ayaw ng nanay ko kasi kailangan daw mayaman ka kung kukunin ang course na yun. So I settled for ComSci hoping that I’ll someday crossover from being a programmer into a visual effects designer. I’ve been fascinated in visual effects since I saw Godzilla when I was in Grade 6. But then, after watching The Fellowship of the Ring in 2001, I realized that visual effects is not enough to tell a story. From then on, subconsciously, I always wanted to make a movie like that. It’s the one movie that changed me, really… and I became obsessed with it.

From then on, all I can do is wait for opportunities. I joined the school fillmfest once. And I believe luck is on my side after winning the multimedia contest. Kaya yun…napag-isip ko na baka yun na nga ang future ko. So I started to daydream. Baka ako pala ang magre-revolutionize sa Philippine movies. The one that will make people like me to go and see a quality a pinoy-made movie. A movie that doesn’t capitalize on the commercial value of the actors but by the movie itself. That’s just one of my dreams. Kaya lang sa current job ko, mukhang malayong marating yun unless I’m lucky enough to be on the right place at the right time. I’m just dreaming big, I know. I’ll better be ready when the big opportunity came…

Believe it or not, at age 20, ngayun lang ako nagkasariling cellphone sa buong buhay ko. Nung college ako, 99.9% yata ng estudyante sa Mapua ay may cellphone. Kasama ako dun sa 0.01% na wala pa…ever. Eh hindi naman kasi ako humingi ng cellphone sa nanay ko e. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako nahilig mag text o bakit hindi ako naiiingit sa mga kapatid kong mas bata pa sa akin na nauna nang magkaroon ng cellphone. I just don’t find it as a necessity. Hindi naman kasi ako gala. Kung may lakad man na mahalaga, dun ko lang naiisipang hiramin yung phone ng kapatid ko. Eh kaso hindi naman pala-lakwatsa kaya wala lang…kuntento na ako na walang cellphone.

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It’s been a week since the graduation ceremonies. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang nakatapos na ako ng college. Akala ko noon, day after ng graduation, tutunganga lang ako na parang “Now what?” pero fortunately may trabaho na agad ako.

Speaking of work, under ako ng one month training sa GT Tower about C#.NET. Buti na lang may training kasi ayokong isasabak agad ako sa trabaho ng ganun ganun na lang. At magkakaroon ako ng chance na maka-vibes ang mga  makakasama ko sa trabaho. Medyo nakakapag-adjust na rin ako kahit papaano. Hindi ko pa nailalabas ang character ko sa kanila. Usually kasi, tahimik lang talaga ako hanggang walang kumakausap sa akin. Unti-unti lang ako dumadaldal habang tumatagal. Pero hindi ko pa naa-unleash yung character ko na alam ng mga high-school at college friends ko. Hahah… That’s why I’m sticking with my “Gollum” avatar not because of being an LOTR fanatic but because it symbolizes my dual personality. (One good, the other evil?). Not to mention na Gemini ang zodiac sign ko….twins.

Mahirap sabihin kung sino-sino sa mga ka-officemates mo ang ka-edad mo. Akala ko nung first day, pare-pareho kaming newly-graduates. Magugulat ka na lang na 25-30 something na sila at yung iba may pamilya na pala. Hindi halata sa mukha. At dahil first name basis ang tawagan sa’min, minsan lang ako mag ‘ate’ at ‘kuya’ lalo na sa akala kong ka-edaran ko lang nung una, yun pala 5 years ahead sa akin.

Meron naman akong co-trainee na ka-edad na yata ng nanay ko. Mga 50+ na yata pero hangang-hanga ako kasi willing pa rin sya matuto ng bagong language. That only proves that nobody stops learning.

Ma-mi-miss ko ang school. Yung pagbabayad ng P6 sa jeep. Mga college friends. Mga professors. Pero hindi ko mami-miss ang paggising ng maaga, paghahabol ng deadlines, sleepless nights at stress kasi alam kong ganito pa rin ang buhay ko even after I finish school…

Sabi sa isang text message na natanggap ko, there are 3 stages in life daw.

I’m not sure about the second stage. Baka time lang ang wala but you still have the energy. Depende naman yun sa tao di ba?

Right now, I’m on the brink of stage 1. Nilalasap ko na ang bawat moment. January 8 next year, start na ako sa isang outsourcing IT company. Kaya ngayon, nagpapakasaya na ako. Kahit walang pera. Ngayon, nagwawalis na ako ng kalat sa labas. Naglalaba na ako ng mga damit namin. Masayang-masaya na ako ngayon na naghuhugas ng pinggan tuwing gabi kahit sawang-sawa na ako. Kasi pag nagtrabaho na ako, hindi ko na magagawa yun e. Hindi na rin ako makakanood ng mga movies sa cable/vcds/dvds. Once na nagstart na ako, ang gagawin ko na lang, gising, ligo, kain, byahe, trabaho, kain, byahe, kain, tulog. Tapos na ang maliligayang araw ko. Parang gusto ko uli maging student. Kasi pag studyante ka, papasok ka lang talaga sa school, may baon ka na…at parang may future ka pa. Pero pag nagwork na ako, feeling ko hindi pa sure ang future ko e. Bahala na.
Marami pa sana akong balak ngayon isang buwan na lang ang bakasyon ko. Gusto ko pang mag self study sa Flash, CSS, PHP, Photoshop, Java (uli) atbp para naman hindi ako mukhang aanga-anga pag pasok ko sa trabaho. Kaso, iniisip ko, parang ang killjoy naman kasi may 6 months training naman ako before mag start talaga. Kaya iba na lang priority ko…maglinis ng kalat sa PC, mag back-up ng files, magbigay ng testimonials sa Friendster, ayusin ang wikisite ng high school batch namin, makipag-bonding sa tatay ko na babalik sa Saudi sa January 2 atbp. Kung makakapag-bakasyon lang ako, mas maganda sana. Pera nga lang ang wala. Well, totoong-totoo yung natanggap kong text.

November 29. The day I was looking forward to before the series of unfortunate events happened. Siguro by this very moment, tinatawag na sana ang name ko sa PICC. Pero hindi e. Eto ako. Nagdadrama sa bahay. Iniimagine ko na lang na sana nandun ako. And to think na nagmamartsa ngayon ang ilang undeserving graduates*? Lalong nakakaasar. Dapat nga matutulog na lang ako o kaya manonood ng Happy Feet kaya lang wala akong pera kaya nag sound trip na lang ako. Pinatugtog ko yung graduation march! Hehe…
At sino ba ang hindi maasar pag eto pa ang dadatnan mo sa YM?

Okay sana tong classmate kong ito e. Alam ko naman deserve nya grumadweyt. Pero i-broadcast daw ba? Tapos pag tingin ko sa avatar nya, naka dirty finger pa? Nakakaasar na nga, nangasar pa. Sino ba ang ineexpect nyang makakabasa nyan? E lahat ng graduates nasa PICC ngayun? Nangaasar ba yan talaga or sobrang proud lang? Sinayang lang nya kuryente sa bahay nila kung iiwan nya lang ang PC nya habang gumradwyet lang sya saglit.

Hay…congratulations na lang sa kanila. Pasalamat sila wala pa si bagyong Reming para i-ruin ang araw na ‘to (katulad na pagru-ruin ni Milenyo sa thesis at graduation ko…). Ga-graduate din ako. Makikita nyo…hehe…

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* Yung mga grumadweyt na undeserving:

• nagpagawa ng thesis
• gumawa ng thesis 2-3 weeks before submission
• may kagrupong masipag at magaling

Siguro naman babalik na sa normal ang buhay ko after that disappointing thesis thing na yan. Ang tamad tamad ko na ngayon. Parang ayoko pa magtrabaho kahit gusto ko magkapera kasi feeling ko parang ang dami ko pang dapat gawin para makabawi. Parang gusto ko ngang magtrabaho sa January na para mas maganda. Ayus ang timing kasi start of the year. Isa pa, gusto i-spend yung last month of the year kasama tatay ko kasi sa January, aalis na naman siya papuntang Saudi. Wala kasi syang kasama sa bahay kasi may pasok ang lahat dito sa amin.

Ayan may entry na uli ako. Sana makapag-update na ako regularly at makapag-bloghop uli. May gana na uli ako… hehe….